Ladies, Not All Of Us Want To Go Bra-Less

 

I keep seeing these posts out there from young girls that equivocate, “Ah, if we could only go bra-less all day that would be like totes amazing.”

Bitch, JUST TAKE OFF YOUR BRA ALREADY.

Go for it. I wish that I had gone bra-less more in my 20’s, back when my boobs were still sitting all high-and-mighty. But little girls, please stop putting all this bra-less nonsense on me now that I am in my 30’s and I have nursed three children. I gave life to infants and in return they sucked all of the life out of my boobies.

Let me be clear: I want to wear a bra.

I want to wear a bra for no one but myself. When I take mine off and my nipples sink down and rest softly on the wrinkled skin of my belly– that makes me sad. When I go bra-less in a t-shirt and my boobs look like party balloons from three weeks ago– that makes me sad.

So please understand my annoyance when I see your post on Facebook about how you just wish you could not wear your bra all of the time. Girl, stop changing your status and just take the god damn bra off already. What are you–22? Go bra-less. Spin in circles and appreciate the glory that are the breasts of a 20-something. Do jumping jacks. Take a run. Go to the grocery store and live it up.

Because someday, you may turn into me; a 30-something who puts on her push-up bra with glee.

I am a woman who smiles when I contort like a pretzel to clasp my wire-framed undergarment,  because it is only when my lady bits are placed within it that they start to resemble their old-selves again.

I am not ashamed to say that a bra lifts not only my sagging skin but also my feminine spirits.

I’ll see you 15 years from now. We will both be perusing the discount lingerie aisle of Target, looking for a little pick-me-up. I will nod to you in recognition as you finger the soft fabric and imagine what it will feel like against your chest. It may seem a little pervy to be rubbing the cups in the bra section of a department store but the older you get, the more just stop caring.

See you soon, 20-something.

 

1 thought on “Ladies, Not All Of Us Want To Go Bra-Less

  1. I have a young coworker that doesn’t wear a bra. I’d rather not be confronted with her nipples poking through her shirt all the time. I know it’s “natural” and all that but I still wish she’d wear a bra!

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