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A Lesson in Vag-Maintenance History
There have been many strange (and slightly absurd) societal changes in our everyday vag-maintenance. I often wonder, what will be next? Let’s follow the journey, starting at the beginning. 1) Beavershaver.com (surely, a very reputable site), claims that the early Egyptians and Greeks set a “smooth and hairless body” as the standard of beauty. The Romans, apparently, also agreed. So ladies, if you are feeling the pressure to keep your landing strip weed-free, blame the Ancients. Skip forward in time, because apparently, nothing interesting happened with vaginas for a very, very long time. 2) Rumor has it the next craze was started by actress Jennifer Love Hewitt in 2000-something. Legend has…
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The Great Debate of the Yoga Pants
Recently there was a post by blogger Veronica Partridge, who stopped wearing yoga pants so she wouldn’t “entice” men whilst out in public. Her husband had admitted that when he saw other women wearing those tight, stretchy leg-huggers, he just couldn’t look away. Out of respect for her significant other, she removed the offensive item from her wardrobe. The lustful thoughts she was causing, due to the clingy nature of fabric covering her bottom half, was unacceptable. Now listen–I don’t wear yoga pants, either. But that’s because they give me a camel-toe. I have one thing to say to you, Mrs. Partridge: THANK YOU. Thank you for bringing attention…
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I Want to be a Tree
I don’t think about death a lot. It’s really not my style. But I saw the greatest thing today: instead of being buried in a cemetery and taking up space, you can become a tree. “The top capsule of Bios Urn was built to facilitate the growth of the seed. Before burying the urn you have to mix the components with some soil from where you want to plant the urn. The components allow a proper seed germination.” (Read more here). I love the idea that some day, instead of my loved ones visiting me in a field of headstones, they could visit a beautiful, living symbol of life. It’s…
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Hipster Fashion Trend
I’m not always the most open to new fashions. I mocked the Ugg Boot upon their arrival. I got into some serious arguments with other ladies when skinny jeans hit the scene. But this new fashion-forward trend– I’m totally on board with: Crocheted shorts– for men. (You can buy them for your lovable Hipster here) Calling all Hipsters: your new, bold, unique clothing item for 2015 has arrived! And I cannot wait to see you wear them. I think that they are beneficial for a number of reasons… 1) They provide air flow on a warm day, thanks to the giant, decorative holes. 2) They are very colorful! 3) They pro-environment, because they…
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Hey, Lady!
Hey you– lady at the park. I’m talking to you. I so empathize with what you’re going through. I have a toddler, too. And they are trouble. I don’t mean to judge you. I am eating questionable crackers that I found at the bottom of my nasty diaper bag. But I also can’t help but notice that you are making one critical error in your approach to your kid–you have no follow through. I watched you as you chased your toddler around with a newborn strapped to your chest. I heard you make threat after threat, with no repercussions. I’m not telling you this to be an asshole. I’m telling…
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Cray-Cray for Tay-Tay
You either love or hate Taylor Swift. There’s no in between. But I think that those of you who claim to hate her are just embarrassed. I get it. I am a music snob myself. But COME ON. First off, she’s addicting. Like sweet, sweet crack. Her latest album, 1989, recently debuted. I didn’t like it at first. But this has happened every, single time I have listened to her. I begin by picking apart her somewhat adolescent lyrics: “Cuz baby I’m a nightmare dressed as a day dream”. Really? Really T-Swift? You’re too cute to be nightmare. You dress like you popped out of the 1950’s and your smile…
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Put Dat Phone Down
Do you ever have one of those ah-ha moments where you realize that you are teaching your kids terrible lessons? I do. All of the time. The latest one I had is a doozy. But I’ll bet you do it, too. I was madly playing Soda Crush on my phone, laying on the floor of our playroom. My daughter was cooking me lunch in her kitchen, and asking what I wanted. “Do you want some chicken?” “Mmm Hmm…” I mumbled, still staring at my screen. “How about some grapes?” “Yes, please.” I was still staring down. She brought the finalized dish over to me on a plate, and shoved it…
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A Letter to my Mother
A Letter to my Mother— Hey, girl. You’ve told me my entire life how much you love me. You’ve shown me through actions and through words. And I’ll admit it, I never really understood the depth of it until I had a child of my own. I looked into my baby girl’s eyes, and it felt almost indescribable—but something every parent feels. I knew that I would do anything for this baby, and that no matter her age or distance from me, she would always be on my mind. That’s one thing that happens when you become a parent; you become tied to your children by an invisible string. It…
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Tire-swing Parenting
I approach parenting in a laissez faire way; I like my kids to make their own mistakes and learn from them. This is always a juggling act– trying to let them fall while also keeping them safe. While pushing our kids on a tire-swing, a friend and I were discussing parenting styles. She was hands-on, hovering around her child to make sure her daughter didn’t fall. “I want my kids to learn through actions, ” I said. Confident in my parenting abilities, I began to explain how it could be beneficial for her to take a step back and let her kid learn how to hold on to the chain by…
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Groupon Paraphernalia
I was browsing Groupon today and I came across something that gave me great pause; a vibrator disguised as a lipstick case. The print states, “Multifunctional mini vibrator looks like a tube of lipstick, making it easy to discreetly store in a purse or bag.” First off, multifunctional? What else can that thing do? Is it also an SD card? A breathalyzer? Is there actually lipstick in there? Am I supposed to apply it after it’s been all up in my va-jay jay? Second, how effective can that small of a vibrator be? It is literally two inches tall. I can’t keep track of my keys or phone on a…