Motherhood, working moms
Thoughts

The Struggles Of Being A WAHM…Or Maybe Just A Mom In General

I work from home. And let me tell you– the struggle is real.

Even the acronym sounds sad— WAHM. It sounds like a mom— who is crying.

I feel like I am failing on all fronts.

If I don’t play with my kids because I have a project due– FAIL.

If I don’t further my career, and instead let it sit idle– FAIL.

If my house cleaner, who has come only twice, looks at me with pity and threatens to resign because my house is just “too dirty”– FAIL.

I’m going to be honest. I am struggling.

I am struggling to be happy while I am being torn apart by work and family. I feel guilty working. I feel guilty not working. I feel bored after playing Legos for an hour, and I feel bored after staring at the computer screen, pretending to enjoy a job that I’m not dedicated to.

I feel proud that I can do both, and I feel embarrassed that this is what I want. So much of my time is consumed with me feeling guilty. And for what?

I want to pack my kids’ lunches. I want to drop them off at school, rule the world for six hours, and then be there to pick them up. Is that really too much to ask?

Women– and yes I am talking to you– need to stop feeling guilty for wanting more.  Your more may be different from mine; you may want more freedom, more kids, more challenges, more friends, more work, more time with your spouse, more time with your kids. I don’t give a flying fuck what your more is, but you need to go after it.

The point is this: we are allowed to want. We are allowed to look at our lives and feel like there is more out there for us. We are allowed to seek happiness where we can and be fulfilled by things that are not our children.

Let me be clear–I love my kids. I love my husband. I adore our life and our family. But I also have qualities outside of wife and mother– I have ambition and drive and the desire to do—and be—incredible.

Motherhood is by far the most important and rewarding job that I hold. But that does not diminish any other.

I was not a great stay at home mom…and I may not be a great working at home mom, either. But the best version of myself, and the best example I can set for my kids, is to be happy. To be content.

I just might be a little slow on finding it.

2 Comments

  • Kimberly

    The struggle is real but raising kids is a very important job. It sounds like we are probably in different places in our mom stage as my youngest is on the verge of graduating high school and will be off to college this fall.

    It’s no longer playing legos or driving my kids to sporting practice. Its confirmation of safe arrivals as they move around on their own and learn to make their own way in the world.

    Looking back at when they were younger, I know my husband and I both of course provided for their needs but wanted to be the memory makers for them. The stuff isn’t near as important or memorable as the time spend together or the memories we share.

    I have gone back to and quit college twice because it took me away from what was truly important…my family. I’m a stay at home mom, I am thankful and blessed that I am able to be, and I wouldn’t trade the memories for anything.

    I’m finding my way too as I transition to a new home, in a new state, and learn what life will be without all of the daily tasks I have done for so many years when the kids were younger. I’m finding me again.

    Just keep doing the next right thing for you and your family. I have a couple of great books to recommend…if you’re interested. PM me on IG!!

    • Girl from the North Country

      Ahh Kimberly thanks for sharing! I feel like being mamas with growing children, we are constantly having to evolve with every stage of life. It’s nice to hear from someone who is further down the road. I so appreciate your thoughts 🙂