‘Tis the Night Before Christmas
‘Tis the day before Christmas
And like many mommies before,
I’m so fucking tired
That I ‘m lying on the floor.
There was shopping and browsing
And making of lists.
There were colds to wipe up
And sweets to resist.
There were houses to bake
And then decorate!
There were presents to wrap–
Too little, too late!
There were lights to put up,
And ornaments to hang.
Cards to mail out
And music was sang.
There was grunting and groaning
And stretching of dresses,
With jeans that don’t button
Over stretch-mark distresses.
There were candy canes stuck
In hair and in clothes,
And chocolate on faces.
Where it came from– who knows!
And now I’m here
On the dirty kitchen floor,
Enjoying the quiet
And I let out a snore.
The kids’ll find me in the morning
In a pile of dirt.
Not lookin’ pretty.
Not a little alert.
But they’ll have presents in stockings,
And gifts under the tree,
And food for roasting
And faces of glee.
I’ll smile and laugh
With the family, breaking bread.
While that damn jerk named Santa,
Will take all the cred.