The Second Time Around
It is official: This mama’s diary is beginning again.
Someone asked me the other day if I thought the second pregnancy would be less scary, having done it before. In some ways– yes! At least I know what is coming. But that damn adage “Every pregnancy is different”, is unfortunately true.
I read back over the brief blog from last time. It was funny. But it made me mad.
Ohhh you thought it was hard being nauseous? You threw up a couple of times? You were tired? I want to kill that bitch that has enough balls to complain and enough brain power to crack jokes about it.
I want to tap myself from two years ago on the shoulder and say, in a very condescending voice, “JUST WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT ONE!”
Then I would hand her a note entitled, “Round Two: FYI”. It would read:
1.) This time, too, you will be nauseous. In fact, you will be so nauseous that you can’t get off the floor. Your daughter will get so used to the sound of barfing, that she will stand next you, mimicking the sounds and laughing hysterically. She has learned that she cannot ask for something if you are bent over the sink, toilet or a stranger’s car.
2.) You will be tired. But instead of having the luxury of only taking care of you, there will be a mini-me following you around. She will demand constant attention. You will fall asleep during tea parties and put on sunglasses to hide the bags beneath your eyes at the park. And honestly, you’re going to be lucky if you make it to the park at all. Packing food and coaxing a toddler into the car are way too taxing.
3.) You will be constipated. You won’t fully comprehend this term until now. You literally will not remember the last time you dropped a deuce. In fact, it’s been so long that you will look four months pregnant instead of ten weeks. You will begin to refer to your belly as the “poop baby”.
4.) As mad as you get, and as long and tiring as your days may seem, it helps to be able to see the results of your labor (haha literally). There, before you will stand the greatest thing you have ever done; a toddler created out of love, sweat, gas and tears. And you will remember, it is all worth it.
