The Great Debate of the Yoga Pants

Recently there was a post by blogger Veronica Partridge, who stopped wearing yoga pants so she wouldn’t “entice” men whilst out in public. Her husband had admitted that when he saw other women wearing those tight, stretchy leg-huggers, he just couldn’t look away. Out of respect for her significant other, she removed the offensive item from her wardrobe. The lustful thoughts she was causing, due to the clingy nature of fabric covering her bottom half, was unacceptable.

Now listen–I don’t wear yoga pants, either. But that’s because they give me a camel-toe.

I have one thing to say to you, Mrs. Partridge: THANK YOU. Thank you for bringing attention to this issue. I, too, find it unacceptable.

But for different reasons.

I find it unacceptable that the response to a woman’s choice of clothing is somehow a reflection on her, and the reaction that is elicited is NOT a reflection on the men. You know– the ones HAVING the response. It is absurd that the point seems to be that women should be conscious of the textiles they are wearing, and the focus is not on how men should be able to contain themselves.

Tori Amos, singer, and songwriter, was raped. She wrote a song based on it called Me and a Gun. She states, “So I wore a slinky red thing, does that mean that I should spread for you, your father, Mr. Ed?” She encapsulates the idea that what a woman wears somehow dictates how men should identify with her.

As a woman, you cannot control or predict (nor should you) how a man will interpret your choices. Some men love a woman in tennis shoes, some a woman in a t-shirt. Are we supposed to predict this behavior and dress accordingly? If so, what are we supposed to wear?

Women are beautiful by design. You can put one in a paper bag and dirty socks, and she will make men lust. That is the nature of the female body. This exquisiteness should be celebrated, not shamed. The people who should be ashamed, the ones who should be targeted, are those who make excuses for their behavior by blaming someone else.

The focus should not be on Mrs. Partridge’s wardrobe, her husband or anything having to do with her personally. I am not the only who feels betrayed by the aforementioned blogger’s attitude towards her yoga pants.  But instead of having civil discourse on why we are upset, I’ve seen comments attacking Mrs. Partridge on her makeup and hair– FROM OTHER WOMEN. Ladies, by all that is moist and and clittorific in this world– STOP.

You are perpetuating the stigma that it is anyone’s right to comment on a woman’s physical appearance and choices. By condemning her, you are undermining the entire argument you are trying to make.

One woman pointed out, “…shouldn’t we be respectful of those men who bravely shared this information? And shouldn’t we at least inform our daughters so they can make their own decisions?” Yes. Yes, we should talk to our daughters about this. We should teach them to be proud but to also realize actions (not clothing) have repercussions. We should discuss with them the notion that they should show themselves the same respect that they expect of others.

But more importantly, we should talk to our sons.

We should instill in our boys the idea that women are not meant to have. We need to teach them that it is not their job to interpret what a woman is wearing as an invitation or a signal. We should teach them to take responsibility for their actions and for their feelings.

And we should also take a long, hard look in the mirror at the way WE view other women. We, too, need to be held accountable for the way in which we treat other women, regardless of their relationship with their yoga pants.