Tattle-Tail.

My three-year-old has become a tattle-tail. But she only tells on herself.

“Mama! Mama! I almost put my mouth on the bench.” she told me. I didn’t know how to respond. Glad you didn’t? Why? What bench? What stopped you?

On a family vacation last week, she kept confessing that she almost put her mouth on…everything.

“Mama! I almost put my mouth on Zepher! Mama! I almost put my mouth on Papa! Mama I almost put my mouth on THAT LADY!” (Here she pointed at an obese man sporting a visor and a shirt made of white, glistening hair).

The latest episode was in the car today.

“Mama! Mama!” she exclaimed. I looked in the rear-view mirror, because she requires eye-contact to nark. “Mama. I ate one of my toenails. But I didn’t like it.”

I don’t know how you respond to these things. Do I berate her for eating a toenail to begin with? Ask her what it tasted like? Tell her I’m glad she didn’t like it? I don’t know anymore.  But I can’t say that I don’t know how she spends her day, because she narrates the entire thing. I’m hoping she’s just going to wear herself down, and tattle the tale right out.