Diaper Bag Fail

I am always the mom that never brings anything. You may think I’m exaggerating– but I’m not. If I make it out of the house with both kids, I feel pretty good.

I generally go places and forget diapers. Or wipes. Or food. And probably water.

I furiously look through my purse/diaper bag/black hole that things disappear into, only to find moldy crackers and the remains of what I think was a banana.

A few months ago I actually left the house with only my children (I should get props for bringing them, though, right?). I arrived at a friend’s house for a play date with nothing–no wallet, no diaper bag, no Ergo. I wish I could say this happens rarely, but in all honesty, it’s a daily occurrence.

But I see you ladies out there, with your fully stocked bags, perfectly organized with hand sanitizer, snacks, books, balls, and band-aids. And I am in awe of you. You’re like mommy magicians; I think your purse must be empty, as I’ve watched you pull out the contents of a fridge and an entire playroom, and then VOILA, out comes something else!

David Blane could learn a lesson or two from you.

Last week I saw a mom make a dog appear– OUT OF HER PURSE. How long was that thing in there for? I watched her for at least half an hour at the park, toting around that bag and removing items.

Sunscreen? Check. Apple slices? Check. Pacifier? Check. Dog? Oh there you are!

Every once in a while I get all motivated, and I empty out my diaper bag. I leave it on the floor for the dog to clean out, and I replace all of the necessities.  But it only goes so far…because pretty soon I’ve used everything and it’s back to crumbs and receipts.

I’ll just continue to be the loser mom at the playground who counts on friends to bring everything I need. Thank God for mother’s who have their shit together.

You guys are the best.