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Running a Marathon?
So I’m running a marathon. It has been pointed out to me that I am throwing around this term loosely…but marathon just sounds bad ass. And I’m running! In an organized event with other people! So technically, I guess it’s a 5K. That sounds pretty good, too. I mean 5K= 5,000! 5,000 what? I don’t know. Maybe it’s the amount of times I’ll be questioning why I agreed to do this. Or perhaps it’s the amount of times I’ll curse my friend who talked me into it. Or maybe that’s the number of liters I’ll pee in my pants. I know. You’re probably laughing that this is such a big…
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Women Against What?
There has been a somewhat popular movement among women that I find incredibly disturbing: the group is calling themselves “Women Against Feminism”. Yes, you have heard me right. Apparently, they have been around for a while but they are gaining popularity on social media outlets like Facebook and Twitter. I try my best not to target specific women because as a woman myself, it seems like that would be perpetuating the problem. I would be shaming women…which I inherently disagree with. However—these women have chosen to show their faces and their opinions in a public forum, so I feel like it is fair game. And frankly, I also feel like…
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Why 90’s Boy Bands Are Better
This a super researched, very scientific and greatly thought-out piece about why my 90’s boy bands are better then today’s. In my era we had the Backstreet Boys, N’Sync and 98 Degrees. I’m gonna go ahead and leave 98 Degrees out of the equation due to my deep rooted “meh” feelings about them. I have a friend who would (and I’m sure will) argue that New Kids on the Block should be included in this list…but I was too young for them (sorry, Balicia). Now, I’m more a BSB fan myself, but I have to give N’Sync credit purely because Justin Timberlake was involved. I’m super out-of-touch with what all the…
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Park Vultures
I guess this probably isn’t something new, because women have been selling stuff to each other for ages. But I have been approached three times in the last couple of months– by mommy vultures at the park. I’m getting annoyed at this trend. The park is supposed to be a place where my kid eats sand and picks up Roseola, not a place where I get targeted by other mothers trying to sell me things. It’s not cool. You are crossing an unspoken line; I expect to get solicited outside of the grocery store or waiting at a traffic light. But the park? And when I am knee-deep in a private discussion? Furthermore,…
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Diaper Bag Fail
I am always the mom that never brings anything. You may think I’m exaggerating– but I’m not. If I make it out of the house with both kids, I feel pretty good. I generally go places and forget diapers. Or wipes. Or food. And probably water. I furiously look through my purse/diaper bag/black hole that things disappear into, only to find moldy crackers and the remains of what I think was a banana. A few months ago I actually left the house with only my children (I should get props for bringing them, though, right?). I arrived at a friend’s house for a play date with nothing–no wallet, no diaper…
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You Know You’re a Parent When You…
Spend an hour drawing on an easel with crayons, only to realize your drawings are indistinguishable from the young child coloring beside you Eat left-over food off of your child’s plate Wipe kid’s boogers and/or pull large ones out of their nose, sans Kleenex– bare hands Sit in the bathroom and watch/listen to child poop. Discuss the aforementioned Out of utter exhaustion, don’t go find a cloth, and instead, just rub drool/spit-up/boogers into your clothes Have said the phrase, “At least it’s not poop!” and kept going with your day Let the “10 Second Rule” morph into the “It’s Fine Just Eat It” rule Stop using dressers and hangers, and instead…
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This Blog
I started this blog almost four years ago…and had absolutely no follow through until about four months ago. And since then, it’s taken on a life of it’s own. People are responding (not a lot of people, I’m not at Oprah status–yet). I have been pleasantly surprised by the array of those who I know personally, and also at the readers who have stumbled upon it from abyss we call the World Wide Web. But there comes a point where I need to make a decision regarding the content of the blog, and the direction I want to go with it. I didn’t start it as a way to make…
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Shout Out
I had a really tough day yesterday. My one-year-old has been covered in a mystery rash, which is not only concerning but which has also caused him to be up all night and a terror all day. He looks like he has Leprosy. I spent two hours in the doctor’s office yesterday, holding my youngest screaming for 25 minutes, while my three-year-old licked chairs and showed her nipples to various other people in the waiting room. My husband had to work late, and there I was sitting with playdoh in my hair and with two super cute, but vivacious children, looking at the clock and contemplating a bad judgement call on…
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Stunning Revelations of a Non-Hugger
Apparently I’m not a hugger. I thought I was. I never pictured myself as someone who didn’t hug. I hug my kids. I hug my husband. But I just realized–I am not hug-initializer with people other than my immediate family. Now, this may sound like a small, insignificant point but it’s not. There are people who tend to start hugs– I’ve been paying attention. When you walk into someone’s house and your arms automatically open for a hug, people are receptive; they hug you in return. You are a hug-starter. But if you tend to accept hugs, not start them, you are a hug-accepter. This means that if in your…
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Kidz Bop is Bringing Anal Back
I’m gonna be honest with you– I have a problem with kid’s music; specifically Kidz Bop. I loathe it. But it turns out that this douchebag of a company may have finally gotten something…accurate. If you want a good laugh, read on. Kidz Bop takes popular, trendy, songs and re-records them using robotic children with creepy instrumental backups. The lyrics are changed so that what might have been an “inappropriate” song can be heard by young children. Someone is taking the emotional integrity of a song and changing it. What’s worse– they are butchering them. These aren’t soulful covers done by aspiring artists— they are stale conversions of something that…